My Life ... Like Shit .

1 .So basically ... its some shit . like forreal . but im teribly grateful because i love my life . but then, sometimes, i wish it could be different . like i see other people couplin up, and bein just together and lovin each other, and im starin from a distance, like daaamn ..thats beautiful . and i look at mine, and ... dont even see any love . period . i mean damn . but sometimes, i think i deserve it . because i believe in karma . so what goes around, comes around . i be stealing clothes, jewelry, cheating, just doin all wrong ... so in return i get nothing . thats how i see . just karma . God knows what im doin . soo ... yeah . but i dont care . sometimes, i think i dont really need it .

2 .i dont have a boyfriend now . and i thought i missed him . i thought i missed his lips, his embrace, his being in general . mannnnn fuckkk that nigga . i just had a realization . he just makes me hate niggas in general . i guess only cus ... before him, ... i never really was the bf/gf type ... and then here he comes ... and hes my boyfriend ... and its weird cus i dont fuckin do boyfriends . and then, i end up loving him ... and i hate that shit too . he had me wiiiiide open . and he just ,,, left . and it hurt . well, really IIIII left , but he left first emotionally i guess . and ... idk . i feel as though he belongs to me . and now what i had is gone . its dead . whyy ? i dont know . i dont know anything ... fuck .

3 .but i also realized ... that I AM alone . like i have bestfriends whom i love ... but .. theyre not gonna ALWAYS be there for me . like i want someone ... whos gonna love me UNCONDITIONALLY, like ... idk .. just a love so great i could cry . but i dont think that really exists . for me at least . i meann, shelbyy ,... i love that girl . like always and forever . like i dont even know why, but i would do any and everything for that girl, and i would never get tired of her . she makes me happy . but now ... she has a boyfriend . and ... she was my other half ... and now shes someone elses ... and i dont have her as much as i did . and i barely had her before cus we go to diff schools so i ckld hardly see her . and its like everytime i ask her to do something or wanna hang, she always says im with deon, deon this, deon that, now DONT GET ME WRONG ! i am NOTTTT complaining .. at all, i am VERY happy and excited that she has experienced love, cus shes not the bf/gf type either . and matetr fact, i love deon, hes really cool, so i DEF. approve . but anyways, like loe and shelby made my world ,. and both are gone, and now have left me in pieces . im slowly building myself back up again . slowly ... but surely .

4 .and its like .... what the fuck, am I your therapist ?? did i ASKKKKK what happened ? i dont think i signed up for this . you dont care about me . like when i try to tell someone about MYYY problems, cus i mean since im such the listener, i think i would have to vent some time too, but anyways, when i try to tell someone about my problems, they ALL OF A SUDDEN ... sttart ramblin on about THEIR problems .. like what the fuck, youre soo selfish ! theres NEVER time when someone just wants to sit down with me, and be like "sonn .. whatsup" and like actually care . NO ONE . and thats why sometiems, i just feel like telling people to shut the fuck up because i dont give a flying fuck . it just gets so annoying sometimes . i just get SOO tired .

5 .like alll of my friends be like "oh yeahh, i love you etc etc," "i gotchu son" blah blah blahh ... noo bitchh .. you dont . you dont love me . you dont care about me . you only come to me, because you KNOW im nice, you KNOW i'll listen, you KNOW i'll be there for you . but will you do the same to me ? noo . you'll just be like "ohh .." or "truue ." bitch i aint ask for a one word response, HELP MEE ! what the fuck .

6 . anddddd mom, you can DEFINETLY suck my Nuttttt . i just ... cant fuckin stand you . you make me feel like shit . i feel like youre the fakest person in all thee nations . and dad ... well ... you dont have to necessarily SUCK my nut ... but you can definetly give it a lick or two . because you complain that i never call or never text .. bitch you i always text you, and i NEVER get a text from you ! but YET, you can send MY MOMMMMM a fuckin txt message sayin whatsup . BITCH WHAT ABOUT ME ? ... mann ... fuck yall .

i swear mann, ima stay focused in school, get this muhfuckin honor roll, get some fuckin scholarships, and roll THEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE .... fuck out . to college . and never comin back, never lookin back . believe that . mann ... fuck all of yall . shit .
yall dont do shit for me . or my life . you dont better me, so whats the ourpose of you ?

thats what the fuck i thought ,.