Punishment ...

Ugh mann . I dont even know whyyyy im on punishment . I'm not even a bad kid . But my grades are lol and that's why I'm on punishment lol and my mom said I'm gonna be in more trouble if my grades havent improved ! and I already know my grades for 2nd advisory ! i got 3 C's ! and I'm terrified I'm not gonna get to go out or see anyone, and Ima be real upset if I'm punished on my birthday mann ... which i probably will . but mannn ... uughh . I hate my life . it sucks . I can't go NOWHERE . not even with him . how the heck are we gonna make this official if I cant go nowhere ? wtf mann . and I wanna tell him to move on cus I dont wanna keep him waiting ! I'm a loser ? who keeps their spouse waiting ? [is he even my spouse yet?] but I dont want him to leave !! I wanna be with him, but I dont want him to wait for my sorry self . lol
idkkk what ima do . All I can do right now, is just wait it out . and see where the hell this goes .

Sweet 16 ... or nothing at all .

Ohh myy goodness . okay, so ... I LOOOVE New York . I'm absolutely in love with that state . my mother promised me we can go take the train up there LAST SUMMER . we never went . so she promised to take me for my 16th birthday . and you know youre SWEET SIXTEEN IS A BIG MOTHERFUCKING DEAL . and going to New York for a weekend is nothing compared to those kids having big ole' 100,000cash parties . she's promised to me to go to New York since for FOREVER . and its my birthday . so thats TWICE a reason to go . so she planned it . booked
a hotel . got our train tickets . planned fucking EVERYTHING .
then ... she wants to CANCEL on me . omg . do you know how FUCKING PISSED OFF I WAS ???? I wanted to fucking kill EVERYONE AND their mom . ommggg . I swear I couldve wrecked anyone anywhere at that moment . I have never been that angry in a long ass mutherfuckin time . yung . omg . just thinking about it makes me upset all over again .
but anyways, I'm going there for college so fuck you mom ! HA HAAA !! sike nahh, but forreal .
but she said I can go to the Justin Nozuka concert instead ! which is only like $15 at the 930 club at 8pm on a school night ! wooo hooo !! I'm in there like swim wear ! AAND I'm coloring my hair . she better let me get my 4th hole too . but all this stuff is under $30 for my birthday . nothing compared to the New York trip or the $100,000 rich kids party . soo .. whatever . and she even fuckin siced my head by asking what kind of laptop did I want . and how much money did I want for my birthday . I was humble and said I didnt have to get a laptop, and I don't need much money, since we're in a recession and shit . I'ma just be grateful for another year . which i really am . sooo fuck a sweet sixteen . thanks for 16 years God . But I'm still a little upset about the New York thingg . lol

Track !!

Mannn ... I remember my first meet . how scary ! now mann ... I'm waitin for some competition !
I LOVE running ! the competition is fierce and I love intimidating those other girls ! little do they know, they intimidate ME . lol I be so nervous before a meet, I have to take a shit before I warm up lol like seriously . mann, I love gettin into my track shoes, lace them babies up, and feel the spikes dig into the track while I do some high knees to loosen up before I run, touch my toes to stretch my legs a little and shake my arms to get all the nervousness out . then I bounce up and down on my toes to stretch my calves . The track is my world . I hate and love it with a passion . I hate when I see my self running though on a video . I look so ugly and sloppy ! my butt is GINORMOUS in spandex and I look retarded . but my legs are defined, so its cool lol but I still don't like how I look cus I look so big and sloppy, with thick everything, and all the other girls are all little and petite, or tall and lean . I'm like the only tall thick one . I'm just disgusted . and my butts all jiggly lol ARRGGHH .
but anyways, omg last sunday [jan.25th.09] I ran the 400 and I came in 2nd place !! omg I was PRESSED ! I couldnt even believe it ! then for the 200, I came in 3rd ! I was like DAMN NALANI ! you on point shawtyy ! lol But yeahh ... point blank: I love track bitch .

First Time

Well, this is my first entry . && I'm kindofff ... okay with this I guess . I've had an Xanga before but ummm .... I keep forgetting about it . I don't know if anyone is gonna read these blogs, but they are made solely for me and only me to express my thoughts without anyone judging me . I have a gazillion of thoughts rushing through my head eveyday . && I hate that sometimes I don't write them down . But I'm more of a computer person, so this really good . I just hope I keep up with this stuff, as seeing how the Xanga thing went ... anywhoo ..

lets get started ... I guess .