Cuurently ....

KILL; I GET OFF TOMORROW !!

YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS .

sice game ..

ummm what was I gonna say ??

oh yeah, omg I think Tobi's mad at me !

I felt so guilty, and sad because ...

yeah; damn . but anyways, my day went okay .

Kill; I gotta C is PRESLEY, i was SOO siceddd . No F ! =D

But umm, next subject .

I think he be ignoring me or sometimes, he just doesnt

care . like about me; in general . i mean, i feel as though he

is just attracted to me, and i'm cool to talk to and whatever, but sometimes i feel like

we be up and down, and i hate thattt . but thats what he said a relationship is .

which it is . so i'll go through with it, I guess . I mean, i know i keep saying it, but this

relationship thing is new to meee ... andddd ... I'm not used to this long term stuff like he is

but im willing to go through with it because I like him alottt, ... and I need someone,

not even someone; but a special someone, to look forward to, to make me feel good,

to meet my needs, to be with and the whole KaBlammm . and I'm tired of trying to

"talk" to someone and then we end up not even "talkin" for that long, so thennn I gotta put

ALL that effort into looking for someone else; giving my trust which is wayyy too muchhh, so

I'm pretty darn good with Lovell . he makes me happy, makes me LAAAAUGH, omgg lol makes

me smile, he just ... just ... idkk . he's good though . I'm glad . and thankful . cus i never

thought i'd be in a relationship for a good minute . or at least not until my senior year .

but, I'm just living my life as it flows apparently .

I guess, I'm satisfied . I just have some things to get used to .

CRACKK ADDICT

I'M GOING PRETTY CRAZYYY HEERE !!

I NEED MY CRACKK, JUST GIMME GIMME GIMME !!!
I ...

I JUST .... JUST ....

miss Lovell ... =/

I'm Sorry But ...

Just EVERYTIMEEE ....

I get soo pissed at him !

I'm just stop going to the page, cus everytime I look,

it just ... makes me think he's a liar even more .

No, he ISS a liar .

Joke .

That's all we were . A Joke .

A Big Fat Onee ...

Mixed

I don't knowww ....

Can I do this ?
I don't know if I can ...

this is soo new and complicated ...

up and down, highs, and lows, sweets and sours,

blah blah blahhh ...

Everyday .

Everyday, you have something to say,
Everyday, you act so fake
I really don't know whats wrong with you,
keep talking shit, youre such a fool
i'm restless and tired of your shit,
you have no life, youre such a bitch
why you act like that, I do not know
one day you'll get yours, that's fuh sho'

LOL

I trieddd ...

but that fuckin nigga, ... fuck, EVERYDAYY ... evry single one ...

complain.
complain.
complain.

nag.
nag.
nag.

shut THEE FUCK UP !

I don't understand why you have to start something with me !
if I don't know what happened on the news, then i don't FUCKIN KNOW !
fuckk; I wasnt listening, damn .
I didnt think it was that serious .
if you wanna know whats on the fuckin news,

READ THE PAPER
WATCH FUCKIN TV
LISTEN TO THE RADIO

damn dumbass .

but you know what ??

I'ma stop gettin mad over dumb fucks like that .
wasting my time . making me mad as shit .
for no fucking reason .

thats the only thing that gets you hard ! is making me mad !
does that make your day ??
does that make you happy ?

oh waittt ...


I don't give a fuck .

ARGGHH

OMGGG ... I HAAAAAAAAATE this punishment thinggg !
This soo totally sucks !
like alll the OTHER times I was on punishment, it went by soo fast ! but thiisssss time its going sooo slowly ! I wanna hang with bestfriend, and I wanna see my freakin boo !

&& I CAN'T !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! IT'S SO FUSTRATINGGG !!!

everyone keeps naggin me ! "when are you gettin off again?" "yo ass need a phone asap"

blah blah blahh,
I hate when people state the obvious mann,
like AH DOY I knowwwwwww i need a friggin phone girl !MAnn

SnuggleMuffins =D

Only Cus He Asked Me To lol He's such a crybaby lol

Fuck ... You .

Fuck you . Fuckkk Youuu . FUCKK YOUU . Figgity FFlickity Fluckity Fuck Yer Bitch Azz .

You make me soo fuckin mad, words can't ever explain how much you anger me, just everytime I see your lips about to form to make a comment, I just already wanna slap the shit out your faace . you have NOTHINGG better to do with your life, than make mine a living hell . you are soo fucking negative just seeing your face, makes me want to step out and go into a another room to avoid you . you disgust me. WHAT THEE FUCK HAVE I EVER DONE TO YOU ? Nothing . So FUCK YOUUUUU !!!!! FUCK YOUR LIFE, FUCK EVERYTHING HURTFL YOU'VE EVER SAID TO ME, FUCK YOUR MOUTH FROM THE WHERE THE WORDS EVEN FORM TO BE THROWN SO VISCIOUSLY, JUST EVEVERYY FUCKING TIME, YOU BLOW MEEE ...
I just don't understand why you attack me like that . I try my hardest, but in your eyes I'll never amount to anything . you don't believe in me, so fuck you . i hate that you underestimate me, doubt me, have no faith in me, Am I a FAilure to you ?
BITCH YOUR A FUCKING FAILURE, FUCK IS YOU SAYING .


Fuck .

Just Fuck anyone, and everyone . Fuck them damn teachers, they don't give a fuck about us . I just want my damn grades bitch, and I'm out, I don't need youu . Fuck those fake bitches, I could care less, in the end, -noo not even the end, RIGHT NOWWW, I already know who my real bitches are, soo basically we ALL are playing a game, you dumb fuckss ....


Kill; hate is a strong word, but damn ... I just ....


mann, Fuck You .

Parents Parents Parents

Nicca not evennnn my parent .

he so damn annoying, like young, get the fuck up out my face .

always complaining about something, so damn pessimistic .

my Stepfava is a mess . always got somethin to say .

Boyy .

It's Been 5 Days,

So far so good ...

we'll of course cus it's the beginning .

but we match soo .... so nicely .

&& I like him soo much .

mann ... thats my boo . my babyy . my snugglemuffins LOL

&& I'm his bubblegummmmm .... =D .

I miss him liiike ... alot . lol i always miss him =/

Kill, he made me tell my mother that we're together,

I was SOO scared lol cus she told me she didn't like him ! LMAO

I meann ... I WASSS gonna tell her, but i didnt know whennn ...

but we was on the phone and he was like
"You better tell her within the next 24hrs!"

I was like
"umm ..."

But i wrote her a letter instead, and she was like Ok .

I was SOOOOOOO SURPRISEDDDD !!

but soo happy =]]]

So I guess she doesnt mind .

now we're all happy ! except for me,

cus I miss him =/

Mann ... Fuckk

I think .... People know .
I shouldn't have told anyone .
I'm such a fool .

I feel ... I don't know .

Scared ?

My Life Currently

I have a boyfriend now . I havent had one inn ... forever . khari doesnt wanna claim me so fuck him then, he wasnt my boyfriend then . but my last official boyfriend was like dec.07/jan.08 i believe ... yeah . Bernard . && its funny now cus he's with Swagg Team . I never knew . I was like woww . He looks good though . he's known as "White Boi" . oops gues I shouldnt have said Bernard lol I forgot his last name ... idk oh well, ...

but anyways, a week and half more to go 'til freedom rings . mann I can't wait ! Me && Shelby are gonna go shopping, ima buy me a laptop w/ webcam, ima have clothes galore, ima spend time with my boo, mann Ima be set . the only thing that can kill that right now ... are my grades .

mann ... I had a fuckin F in Presley . maddddd as ever mann . i wouldve said mad as shit but im tryna stop using profanity .

1. cus it's bad for your soul .. and its just bad period .
&&
2. my boyfriend always tells me to watch my mouth anyways soo yeah .

but ummm ... i should have an A in French, prolly a C in Geo ... C in Englishh, ... Ummm ... A or B in Chemistry ... A in Health ... uhhm ... yeahh . dang, thats wayyy better than last quater . much more A's . nevermind, Ima be good .

I think I'm finally happy with my life right now . My report card should be okay, got green stashed away, about to get me a job, get the license, me and bestfriend on point, and I got me a boo lover .

hmm ... 09 ain't lookin too shabby ...

What A Day !

Okay remember what I said yesterday about all those guys ?

geez it's like I have updates EEEVERYdayy . but anyways,
I thought I saw Q today when I was on the 70 with Deja, we both hopped off that thanggg and ran back to the rec center, matter fact, it wasnt even him . lol we was soo blownn . But I really don't know where he is or what he's doing . he not at work, not on facebook, well I havent been to the rec in a minute anyway, soo I cant really say about that one .

But umm, I saw Lovell this morning lol he was soo mean ! i think he was only being that way cus his friend was there, but I ain't even gonna trip . he was prolly happy to see me; he just didnt show it . cus on myspace he was like i miss you sooo muchhh, i want you to be my everything, my gurlfriendd, bestfriendd, wifeyy, and blah blah blahhh ...
and then once i see him today he "playfully" punched me in my face, and pulled my hair and whateverrr ... idkk .. whatever .

so anyways, i saw Tobiiii ......... &&& .... thats all I'm gonna say lmao

so after I left with Tobi, i went down gallery to meet Deja, and she wasnt there so i waited for her . shit; make a long story short, this boy booked me . and he was real cute . his name is chris . he is 17 . lol ummm ... I told him I didnt have a boyfriend, ...butttt ... Lovell ??
Like me and him are almost to that point,
but chris is cute and something newwww ....

idkkk ....

Niggas ... Ugh ,

So Look .

News News News .

Hosea has a girlfriend .
like what the hell . boys are soo dirty . why would
he try to talk to me if he already had one ? Man, Fi
was right, niggas around there do be jah rollin' but
whatever . So HE'S outtt ..

"Next in line, please step forward"

So I'm on facebook n' shit, right ?
&& I go on Q's page n' shit right ?

&& His status issss .... we gonna make this work ..
and his ex made a comment sayin "im glad you
have a positive attitude about this && i'm happy
&& etc etc, blah blah blahhh ..." && so then I go
on to HERRR page, and her status was I love the
surprise that Q gave me, and I'm planning the
vacation that me and Q are going on && I'm like ...
AYE YOUNG WHAT THE FUCK .
but you know what ??

I'm not even gonna trip .
I knew the nigga was a joke .

but why should I even be mad ??
i mean i diiiiid say that I wasn't
tryna mess with him no more .

Aight aight aighttttt ....

I'm done .


Now, .... Lovell ..

I haven't found any faults yet .
cus this is HIS second chance .
&& I really really really like him .

but majorty of my friends don't and my
mom and dad don't like him lol b/c ...
yeah . but i believe in second chances ...

oh well . we'll see .

Haven't Blogged In a Hot Minute ...

Has anything even happened ? Well, omg I saw WILL .. i Havent seen him in years, ... well maybe like a year in a half ... he has grown up SOO much ... my goodness . but he looks so good ! yummyyyy lol but anyways, i think me and lovell are heading in that direction AGAIN ... lol

my mom and dad are gonna KILL me, let alone, the rest of my friends ... lol welle veryone deserves another chance right ?

and me and Q ... it feels like our relationship is definetly dead lol like now he sends me a message saying he misses me ,,, welllllll ... sorry bud but i dont miss youuuuu . lol i DO miss his kisses on my cheek, they were always so passionate and soft, MANNN ! lol wooooo ..... but umm ...

i REALLY want Hosea .... i mean not REALLY REALLY, but i wanna see him, get to know him, but Fi says hes a rolla, ... like evrey other nigga around 5th ,... but hes so cute ! so chocolate .... with that tattoo on his face, ... man he real cute . but then again deja say he not a rolla ...

and idk who/what to believe . i suggest that i just find out for myself .

so umm ... thats three boys ? Loe, Q, && Zae ? Im just not gonna make any commitments .

Q has his own problems that he needs to solve before comin to ME, idk if Ima take Loe seriously, cus ... i just dotn trust him ? but I miss himmmmm lol && Zae, I wanna chill with him, but I

dont wanna get played . so Ima just go with the flow, just have fun, ... not really lookin for a

relationship . well maybe . i dont knowww .. im 16 . what the hey .

R.I.P. ARNELL, WE MISS YOU MANN .....

MANNN, I'M HURTIN FOR FI REAL BAD RIGHT NOW, EVERYTHING GONNA BE ALRIGH THOUGH, HE IN A BETTER PLACE NOW, DONT WORRY, CRY OUT ALL YOUR TEARS, CUS YOU GONNA GET THROUGH THIS, AMNNN THIS IS TOUGH . MANN EVERYONE MISS YOU ARNELL, SAVE US A PLACE UP THERE, GOD BLESS YOUR SOUL MANN ...

Once a Fool, Always a Fool ...

Yeahh ... pretty muchh . either that or I'm overreacting ??



but ummmm ... last time I checked, it was against the law to cook dinner for your ex when youre talking to someone else, .... or is that okay ??



Am I being played here ???



I've gone through stuff like this, like where simple things happen, and I don't think nothing of it, and then other people say, it's SO obvious that he's playing you ... and I stick with him anyway ... like .. I'm sucha retard ...



I KNEWWWW in the beginning, ... that this was ... or it seemedddd ....

UNREAL . like what the hey . buttt .... i mean ... dang .

Worst Birthday

ha ha haaa ! this is a bitch . but its a laugh . i hope she doesnt expect me to kiss her butt and ask for forgiveness . i'll be damned if i keep saying sorry . this is life . and ima keep living it . no cell phone . she broke it and threw the damn thing out the window . she took all my money . all $700 of it . she says no computer . I don't care . I really don't . I mean, I'm tired of being in trouble . && I don't know why she's so surprised I did that . she don't lemme do nothing . I don't be going out, I don't party, I hardly hang with friends, she canceled all my plans that I wanted to do for my birthday, and it was soo boring . and she's so surprised and upset that I wanna have a little fun . I mean, what I did was jah dangerous, especially since his ass couldnt even drive good and he ain't know where he was going lol retard . but still, she won't lemme gave any fun, soo I was just tryna make fun for myself . ya know ? I'm 16 and whatever, annddddd I can't even go party for that ? I don't care about material things like laptops, and money and whatever, I mean that stuff is great, but all I really want is my freedom . well, thats out the window . but whatever . i wodner when this is gonna blow over . and none of my family even said happy birthday to me . i dont think they really give a fuck about me . well i dont care about them either ... I'm just so dumb and stupid to them ... LMAO I could care less what they think . i'm still Nalani . still failing at everything . not caring about nothing ... ahh what a life .