Just WHy ???

Am i such a Foooooooooooooooollllllll !!!!!!!!!!!!

Update

I havent been on here in a minute . and sooo much has happened that has changed my life . muchc is wayy personal .

but anyways . idk . aint nothing change with the way i am really . still a fool .

forreal forreal FML .

aint no one there . when I call for you, all there are is echos of myself ... lonely as shit .

everyone selfish and foolish .

possibility that me and ex might be back together . that'll be hell .

he all sad and shit his mans just died,. never seen him like that, idek how to feel .

i want to comfort him because no one ever comforts me, so I wanna be there for him.even

though i know he wont wanna talk to me, he'll just keep to himself . soo idk what to do

with myself . i just feel like garbage /

found a $20 on the ground today . booyah . highlight of my life liiiiike Shit .

ugjhbjkvhcfujh

I just hate fuckin bein here . I;m just SOO sick and Tired of fuckin attitude and shit . Alabama sucks, I hate visitin my dad, hes such a dick, finds a problem with EVERYTHING i do . listening to my ipod is a problem, reading a book in my room is a problem, getting on the computer is problem, going to the basketball court is a problem, hanging out with a friend is a problem, just going outside is a problem, my child support bill is a problem, voicing my opinion is a problem, just everything i do is a fucking problem . I'M just a problem . then why the fuck did you get it in with my mom . shoulda used a fuckin condom if i'd be sucha problem . i just fuckin ... wanan go home .

like suck my damn dick .

shit ,.

Update On Life

Whoaaa . havent blogged in a minute ! its been like 3 weeks ! but anyways, I'm back in Alabama visitin my dad for another 3 freakin weeks ! but I've made some friends here though, they're cool . && my and my dad have gotten closer . like i told him about why i do certain shit that they think is stupid, like get a tattoo at 15 that says "Respect" . I was all cryin on the phone and shit telling him when I was yougner I was verbally abused, and stuff, and he didnt know and how even though im young, i stilld eserve respect too and they shouldnt call me stupid and fat and blah blah blahhhh, so hes not mad that I have the tattoo anymore which great . but then my mooooommmm on the other hand ... well whatever . but ummm anything else ?

oh yeahh .

you know who wants to jump back in the picture right ?
Lovell .

&& I almost let him too . but i found out that he had pictures of him and his ex briana on his page a few weeks ago sayin "i miss us", ANDD just not too long ago he was like "nalani i miss you, i love you, and i want you back in my life" and shit like that, and im sittin here liiiike .... muhfucka are we playin those SAME games again ? like HOW DARE YOU say that to ME ?? how can he put his ex pic up on his page sayinn i miss you but cant even put a pic of us when we were TOGETHER !! she was the problem before, and here she is again . im not mad at her at all, cus she prolyl doesnt even know about me, ... which is a shame because she shouldve . but lovell neeeeeeever talked about, or even acknowldged that he had a gf (me) but yet he's all up her ass, breezy this breezy that, i miss you breezy, marry me again breezy, my breezy baby gorgeous, jus breezy EVERYTHING !!

but never .... Never ...

nalani is gorgeous, or Nalani is even pretty . i was just "cute" he never said marry me Nalani, neever none of that . and you know how that makes me feel ? ....

honestly ?

like shit . and I don't deserve that . especially a lame ass fucker like that .

like what the hell .

I MUUUST be a damn fool .

I must be .

Next Movement: Alabama

I'm in Alabama now, visiting my father, i've been here for about a week, not really much net access, so i cant really blog . and so far so good, because usually everytime i come down here, i wanna go right back home and shit, cus he pissin me off and whatever . we bump heads alot . but so far, we're great . i guess its because im older, i understand shit now . but nothing really to do down here . but get on the cpu, go to the gym, and eat .

Aruba Trip (Summed Up)

It was aight . i don't really like traveling unless it's somewhere i haven't been to . it was boring as hell except for the 1st and last night . 1st night we met these white guys from cali, they were cool, and we chilled with them, andddd ... yeah .. =) . dont worry we didnt have sex with them or do anything sexual, or at least NALANI didnt, but ummm *cough cough* lol so anyways then friday, we went to the club, like the 18 and over kind, and I danced on stage yall ! it was soo much fun ! i LOOOVE the club ! cant wait 'til im 18 ! WOO HOOOO ! lol jkkk . but yeahh .

that was it basically . all the in between then's ... didnt really do nothin except swim and shit .

Mann ...

why the fuck am I always the other woman ?

is this my place in life ?

just a quick fuck ? damn,